So yesterday we had our twelve week scan, which is always a bit nerve-wracking. But leading up to it, all anyone could ask us is “are you going to find out?”. For us it was all about knowing our baby was growing the way it should be, that development was all on track and that any tests gave us good news. Finding out the gender was way down our list of priorities.
All of this has really made me think a lot about the gender debate though. We have a little girl already and she’s incredible. She’s tough as nails, sharp as a tack and loves to play rough and tumble with her Dad. In fact one of my favourite images of her is from a recent birthday party – she was clad in a pink tutu and tiara while she attempted to hit golf balls round the garden with her boy cousins. So she’s definitely a little girl but she’s a tomboy too.
So when people rub my growing tummy and with a smile say “Oh you must be hoping for a boy next then”, I’m not really sure what to say. Of course there is part of me that wants to experience bringing up both a son and a daughter. There is a part of me that knows my husband would love a son to hit a cricket ball around with and generally do other mannish things. But I’d like another daughter too. I’d like two siblings of the same gender because I know what good friends they’d be. They could share clothes, toys, go to the same school, grow up and fight and laugh and generally be as close as sisters could be.
For some inane reason I feel our society has been fed this “family ideal” – a nuclear family consisting of mother and father and then one child of each sex. No more or no less. In this consumer “ideal” the little boy is normally the first born, followed by a dainty little girl. But very few families are like that these days. There are single parent families, families with two Dads or two Moms, families who adopt, families with one adored child and all types of families in between. People are diverse, as are their needs and situations, so it follows that families should be too. Because ultimately – if your children are healthy and happy, really, what more can you ask?
So yesterday, as the scan showed our perfect little child, only 6.2 cm long, kicking around it’s arms and legs in excitement, I completely fell in love. The doctor said he could tell with 70% accuracy if it was a boy or girl but that didn’t sound like very good odds to me. He went on to say that a 50% chance would be him completely guessing (i.e as a layman would do), which really complicated matters in my head.
I’ll leave the statistical calculations to you because in the end, we decided that we’d prefer to wait until the odds were a bit better. I’ve got a hunch, but we’ll have to wait four more weeks until we know for sure. Whatever it’s gender, whether it’s a bouncing baby boy or a gorgeous little girl – I know that our next child will be just what our family needs.
Balloon image courtesy of Giggle Tree Events.